7 Types of Jerks you’ll come across while travelling in India

Like who wouldn’t love India? No seriously am asking you’ll.

A perfect mélange of hypnotic culture coupled with COLORS, SO MANY COLORS and topped with a million smiling faces. The snow clad mountains, the Yoga & Ayurveda, the golden beaches, the royal tigers, the abundance of green, the antiquity of temples, the fascinating mythology – (Please make me Stop!), the notorious monkeys, the street food, (SERIOUSLY STOPP!), the colossus elephants, the rhythmic rivers, the rowdy transportation and What Not(PHEWW! Like a whole new level of crazy).

In as much as I Heart my county, I do realize that travelling to INDIA isn’t a one way deal. It’s a taxing package of classical confusion, that my friend!( like it or not), holds the potential to Break you(at times!). My article proceeds from here on, for badass female travellers, who are facing the road every day, getting on the public transportation, travelling in the sleeper class trains, walking alone after 8PM- basically for Woman who will one day rule the world but are facing awkward (sometimes dangerous) situations while travelling across INDIA.

Like every normal 24 year old female surviving the city lights of Delhi, I can’t help but learn what those back alleys are hiding. NOT going into the details (seriously? What’s more detailed than this), I would keep it simple and just describe- what I’ud like to call the JERK HISTORY OF INDIAN MEN ON THE ROAD. Answering the MOST PULSATING QUESTION of them all, how many types of A**holes you can’t avoid while walking/breathing/shopping/eating- Basically Doing anything in INDIA.

The major species of men that you’ll come across in the Great Indian Zoo, will be(PLEASE READ THE DISCLAIMER at the end of the article BEFORE GOING ALL GANGSTA ON ME)-

  • The Catcallers: It is obligatory for few Indian men to catcall and it’s almost treated CASUALLY-like air and water- (literally treated as an element of nature). Like there is no harm in a comment or a whistle or discovering a cacophony that is capable of scaring the crap out of me. What is it? Do you enjoy the look on my face?
  • Lewd commenters: Yes, my wearing a skirt is giving you permission to Comment ugly! That’s exactly why I wear ‘em  . You cracked the code. Bravo! You’d probably won’t even understand the comment, but that wouldn’t stop them from emitting one.
  • Staring psychotic ones: Whether it’s a Bus, a train, Auto-rickshaw, Red lights, Busy Markets or even the airplanes sometimes, you’ll easily spot this one guy, looking at you, NON-STOP- literally. Yes that’ll make you uncomfortable, No- you cannot do much about it.
  • Mr. Touchy: Travelling in local trains, in Delhi metro and especially on the roads, there’ll be a few men brushing through you, like you dint even notice and in your innocence, you sometimes won’t, but Keep your eyes open My friend, he’ll be brushing through, more than once.
  • Road side Romeos: All they do is pick a corner in any of these bustling Bazaars on your itinerary and watch every passing female, EVERY ONE OF THEM- travelers and locals alike. (I don’t know I hate them the most- like all the bones in my body want to cluster together and make a big baseball bat and beat them with it 😦 )
  • Scary Car Man: I don’t quite understand these but there they are, with their flashy cars, playing high intensity edm and driving really slow- Not a bad picture! (wait till they spot you) and Bam!! The speed goes up and these certifiable lunatics might try and run you over.
  • The “Can I have a picture” creep: I know! I know! You’re a cute little foreign celebrity here and everyone wants to have a picture with you 🙂 , but just to burst that bubble my dear, not everyone is looking for ONE sweet picture. There are twits who might photo bomb everyone one of your pictures and follow you till the gate of the monuments (sometimes ever farther, not scaring you! But just so you know)

QUICK TIP

– Don’t look directly at them
– Put your tunes on and shades might come in handy
– Wear your backpack upfront and shield yourself with your elbows, if need be
– A pretty black scarf can do wonders for you- JUST BUY ONE! JUST DO IT

If nothing works- Go crazy and beat the shit out of ’em and email me if you cook yourself a problem- I might help 🙂

DISCLAIMER- So I think I don’t understand the meaning of disclaimer much, although what I do understand is that all the pleasant Indian men I know are the best in the world  – (that’s for you Kanishk rawat, Sushant singh, Dad, and many many more). The article isn’t an insult to the pillars of Indian society, who stand hand in hand with us(women) in every step we take. It’s just for those few! And you know whom am talking about, don’t you 🙂

I dont have any picture proving my claims :P So here i am- eh! just sitting
I dont have any picture proving my claims 😛 So here i am- eh! just sitting

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